Flap (A True Story from me - the author of My Zoo World)

A late Thursday afternoon, 4ish, and I was finished with my writing for the day. Time to step outside for some fresh air – sit on the patio, read a book, and relax. I cranked the umbrella, plopped in my chair, and checked my phone for any messages. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw dark movement at the umbrella fringe. Frowning, I turned and saw a tiny creature cowering and no doubt thinking, “What just happened?”  It took me a split second to realize, “Oh no, it’s a bat.”  Then, louder in my head as it actually looked at me and opened its little bat mouth with teeth in a teeny bat scream, “OH NO, THAT IS A BAT.” 

I gathered my book and phone and fled the scene. As it took flight, flapping wildly about the patio, I flew into the house and slammed the door shut. (I did not know that I could fly too). I peered through our window slats. The bat careened this way and that, fumbling to position itself. I saw it land on a shaded patio wall. It slowly inched its way behind a hanging picture of flip-flops. This bright cheery scene hid a potential Dracula.  I watched but nothing moved, nor did the creature reappear.  

I texted my husband a long scream and warned him of what awaited his arrival home. He was thrilled. I peered back out and decided it was safe to return to my chair. After all, the goal was sunshine and relaxation. I did not turn my back to the picture and was prepared to flap back into the house again. However, not a creature was stirring. No doubt, the bat felt secure in his new dark slumber, and I had calmed down enough to enjoy the pretty day.  

Ray arrived home and sang the Batman TV show theme song. That was fine. He could have his chuckles as long as he had a plan. Our goal was dinner first and that included Ray grilling hamburgers. No movement from the picture wall opposite the grill area. We ate dinner indoors.  As I cleaned up, I gave Ray his assignment. “Don the Bat cape or cowl, and rid us of our bat.”  Ray approached the picture and carefully lifted it. Yep – the bat was there and not budging. Hmm. I said, “Get the broom and nudge him.” Ray followed my instructions and persuaded the bat to leave. The bat did not circle the patio or initiate combat. He spread his wings and flew off beyond the neighbor’s trees.  

So, we are rabies free, do not have to eat garlic, and I only had to endure the Batman theme song one more day.