October Monday - Kiss Me in the Coral Lounge by Helen Ellis

 I laughed from start to finish reading this new hilarious collection of essays from Helen Ellis. Kiss Me in the Coral Lounge is boisterous, bawdy, and unabashedly romantic. In these surprising, sexy, and frank essays, she paints a portrait of true romance for our times. (cover blurb)

Here are some of the chapter titles - My Husband Snores and Yours Will Too,  An Email  to Our Cat Sitter, What's in the  Box?, The Best Part of a Wedding is the Worst Part of the Wedding, We Are Not That Couple, May I Hold Your Grudge for You, and more. 

p. 110 In How to Collect Art, she  describes categories - "Folk art" means poor people did it. "Emerging" means the artist is just out of grad school. "Contemporary" means a piece of the artist's work is in a Midwest museum and costs ten figures. "Modern" means the artist has major shows and  will cost a half million. "Fine art"  - forget about it. The artist is long  dead and commemorated with coffee mugs.   She goes on to describe her and her husband's approach to collecting. It's laugh out loud funny. 

p. 149  I still live by the Southern Lady Code. If you don't have something nice to say, say something not so nice in a nice way. For example: Your Instagram is beautifully curated is Southern Lady Code for "Your real life must be a hotter mess than spaghetti and meatballs in a clothes dryer. " 

She just nails  life  and marriage in these essays. Trust me. You'll crack up. 

Book Review: Southern Lady Code by Helen Ellis

I laughed out loud multiple times as I read Southern Lady Code by Helen Ellis.  Sharp, sassy, and snarky – Ellis’s writing is hysterical.  Her mantra: If you don’t have something nice to say, say something not so nice in a nice way. This collection of twenty three short essays covers a gamut of subjects targeting her life as a southern gal from Alabama who married a New Yorker and lives in Manhattan. Her  accent, white bread, and mayonnaise go far as she lives life.

Chapter Title is Today was a Good Day   some examples of Helen Ellis’ writing- I didn’t yank oxygen tubes out of my nose. I didn’t chop off and bleach my hair in a gas station restroom. I didn’t fall to my knees and scream “Noooooooooo.”  I didn’t raise my hands toward the heavens and scream, “Whyyyy?” I didn’t choke on a cupcake for breakfast. I didn’t make a deal with the Dirt Devil and get my soul sucked out by a vacuum cleaner.      There were quite a few more examples that made for a good day.  Funny stuff.

p.126   In regards to recipe books -  “Vintage” is Southern Lady Code for dog-eared, with ballpoint notes in the margins. You want the word cheese log to stand out. Slather on Ritz crackers. Sour cream in everything.   Apparently her parties are legendary. Women in Manhattan who live on lettuce swoon over her homemade tubs of fattening dips and Ruffles potato chips. No celery sticks to be seen.

Per her grandmother, “Give your guests what they want.”   That’s Southern Lady Code for: There’s nothing less fun than caviar on toast point.

I highly recommend this book to brighten your day. Helen Ellis is the kind of woman who enjoys the mystery of a manila envelope; who has bouquets of pens instead of flowers and never runs out of stamps.  (p. 198).  Southern Lady Code – read it with a drawl and a smile.