She stood, frozen, at the edge of the diving board. At an early age, Joanne Faries demonstrated absolutely no athletic ability. In Athletic Antics, her latest humorous memoir, the author describes riding her bicycle into the back of a car; climbing trees and sliding (not on purpose) down them scraping every inch of her body; plus surviving the duress of junior high field hockey, lacrosse, and volleyball.
YMCA swim achievements (Tadpole, Minnow, Fish, etc.) were halted by the diving board and the teacher nemesis, Ruthie. Would Joanne move on to accomplish Flying Fish and Shark? Could she squint enough to see the other end of the pool?
There are men who sing hallelujah upon the birth of a left-handed son, a future Hall of Fame pitcher. Left-handedness can be a blessing or curse. In archery class, being left-handed did not result in a murder, but it came close. In regards to tennis, Joanne's initial serves baffled her opponents and nabbed a few wins.
Joanne used every English teacher pass excuse possible to work on school newspapers or yearbook, but sooner or later she faced the horror of gymnastics and had to inch her way across the four inch by sixteen-foot balance beam of death. Track and field was not her forte, nor was basketball, soccer, or any sport involving one's hands and/or feet.
As a follow up to her memoir My Zoo World about her fear of animals in an animal loving world, Joanne Faries looks at her athletic life in quirky fashion. Laugh at her foibles, identify with her unattractive gym class attire, and fall off the ski tow rope (on the wrong side) with her. Athletic Antics covers an assortment of sports, and according to her Wii Fit Plus, Joanne Faries cannot walk a straight line.