Movie Review Madness - Murder on the Orient Express

Murder on the Orient Express is a lush remake of an Agatha Christie tale. If you’ve never read her work, I suggest you march to the library and check out one of her books. She was a prolific talented writer with some very defined characters, good plot twists, and that old English humor twinkle in the eye.  So, for this film, there’s a large gathering of seemingly random characters all with a backstory, a reason to be guilty, and a dead body on a train. Whodunit?

I can’t write any more about the plot. You need to go see this movie and watch the twists and turns evolve. Kenneth Brannaugh directed and stars as Hercules Poirot – the most brilliant detective in the world. He’s an extremely fussy, fanatic man with an eye for detail and a mustache that deserves its own Oscar.  Everyone else has their quirks and suspicions. Dame Judi Dench, Michelle Pfeiffer, Johnny Depp, Josh Gad, Derek Jacobi, Penelope Cruz, and more are along for this ride. The scenery is spectacular, the filming works well – at times you feel the confinement and rocking of the train.

Murder on the Orient Express harks back to an old timey flick in a good way. Punch your ticket and go All Aboard for an entertaining two hours. 

Movie Review Madness: Into the Woods

It had been a long time since I saw the stage musical “Into the Woods”, but I have fond memories of its magic. Now the movie directed by Rob Marshall is on screen and it’s a lush production. Into the Woods has  a great cast and is faithful to the story as  a childless couple seek to end a witch’s curse.  However, it seemed really long despite just two hour running time. And Stephen Sondheim music is tricky – it’s not hummable, but it does tell the tale. If sing-talk annoys you, then stop reading now.  

Emily Blunt (baker’s wife) has a lovely voice. I liked her best. James Corden (baker) is pleasant. Johnny Depp as the Big Bad Wolf is amusing. The young lady playing Red Riding Hood has a nice set of pipes, and the boy Jack (of Jack and the Beanstalk) took his part well.  Anna Kendrick (Cinderella) is decent but a tad shrieky on high notes. Chris Pine (the Prince) is dashing and he says, “I was raised to be charming, not sincere.” He appeared to have fun in his role and could sing just fine. The star is the witch and Meryl Streep can certainly act -  but to me, she is only an adequate singer. Critics are suggesting Oscar nomination – I say no.  

All of these characters converge in the woods and all seek different things. The Bakers want a child and must gather four items – a red hood, a white cow, golden hair, and a gold slipper – by the blue moon so the witch can create her potion and lift a curse upon them. Thus encounters with Red Riding Hood, Cinderella escaping the ball, Jack taking his family cow to market, and Rapunzel stuck in a tower are crucial to the success of the Bakers. All must conquer fears, and learn about risks. There are lessons in the songs and the famous song “Children Will Listen” is important.  

All in all, I liked the film okayish (C+, B-) for my $4.50. It kept me warm on a cold day for two hours. However, unlike some musicals (like Rob Marshall’s Chicago) this did not generate audience energy. You did not want to burst into song or tap dance or do jazz hands. However, it makes you think as you go “into the woods”  (i.e. enter your own life challenges) and come out on the other side.  

Movie Review Madness: The Lone Ranger

What's up with the mask? That's a running joke in The Lone Ranger and it does get laughs. However, this movie is way, way too long and is not for young kids. At 2-1/2 hours, I found myself checking my watch. It's a shame because with a whole lot of editing (down to one plot line please), it could have been hilarious. Johnny Depp as Tonto is a crazy man. You're never sure what he'll do or say, and he keeps you laughing.


Armie Hammer as the Lone Ranger is a fine manly specimen. He's a good looking guy with a nice sense of humor and is actually a bit of a klutz. His sidekick, Tonto, seems to always save the day. The filmmaking and stunts are fine. There's plenty of action, gunplay, and explosions. It's just not cohesive. When they are on a roll, we seem to meander off to a plot with Tom Wilkinson, the rich guy in town who's amassing even more. Fine, he needs to be stopped. But let's do it, not talk about it.

Westerns seem to have trouble attracting audiences and this is no exception. They put a lot of money into this film, but forgot the goal - entertain us. The final twenty minutes with the Lone Ranger theme blaring and some Hi-ho-Silver ended up exciting and fun. But it took a long time to get there. Wait for DVD and you'll be amused. We came out laughing, but also tired of sitting. I give The Lone Ranger a C for cumbersome plots, and a special grade T for Tonto. Johnny Depp is a weird creative man.