Flap (A True Story from me - the author of My Zoo World)

A late Thursday afternoon, 4ish, and I was finished with my writing for the day. Time to step outside for some fresh air – sit on the patio, read a book, and relax. I cranked the umbrella, plopped in my chair, and checked my phone for any messages. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw dark movement at the umbrella fringe. Frowning, I turned and saw a tiny creature cowering and no doubt thinking, “What just happened?”  It took me a split second to realize, “Oh no, it’s a bat.”  Then, louder in my head as it actually looked at me and opened its little bat mouth with teeth in a teeny bat scream, “OH NO, THAT IS A BAT.” 

I gathered my book and phone and fled the scene. As it took flight, flapping wildly about the patio, I flew into the house and slammed the door shut. (I did not know that I could fly too). I peered through our window slats. The bat careened this way and that, fumbling to position itself. I saw it land on a shaded patio wall. It slowly inched its way behind a hanging picture of flip-flops. This bright cheery scene hid a potential Dracula.  I watched but nothing moved, nor did the creature reappear.  

I texted my husband a long scream and warned him of what awaited his arrival home. He was thrilled. I peered back out and decided it was safe to return to my chair. After all, the goal was sunshine and relaxation. I did not turn my back to the picture and was prepared to flap back into the house again. However, not a creature was stirring. No doubt, the bat felt secure in his new dark slumber, and I had calmed down enough to enjoy the pretty day.  

Ray arrived home and sang the Batman TV show theme song. That was fine. He could have his chuckles as long as he had a plan. Our goal was dinner first and that included Ray grilling hamburgers. No movement from the picture wall opposite the grill area. We ate dinner indoors.  As I cleaned up, I gave Ray his assignment. “Don the Bat cape or cowl, and rid us of our bat.”  Ray approached the picture and carefully lifted it. Yep – the bat was there and not budging. Hmm. I said, “Get the broom and nudge him.” Ray followed my instructions and persuaded the bat to leave. The bat did not circle the patio or initiate combat. He spread his wings and flew off beyond the neighbor’s trees.  

So, we are rabies free, do not have to eat garlic, and I only had to endure the Batman theme song one more day.

 

 

 

 

Cold Feet, Warm Heart, and a Few Sales

Final update to Bedford Arts Fest, and it has a happy ending. I arrived in a blustery wind and placed at "extra" table 10 - this amounted to the hinterlands. Forget a nice table cloth, I needed boulders to lock down any paper.

Fortunately, Sue Ireland, a watercolor artist, came over and said, "I can move my table a bit, and we can fit you in near me."   Great - this got me out of the direct north wind and also into the flow of customers. Plus we had the added bonus of chitchat during lulls.

Traffic picked up and for such a horrific day, it turned into decent flow. Folks in shorts, folks in winter coats -that's Texas during a weather change. Anyway, I actually sold a few books (can't brag on recouping my table investment, but that's okay) and I believed my books went into good homes.

One young girl (age nine) chose a poetry book. (!).  One young man came back for "My Zoo World", and he was enthusiastic, "This sounds SO funny."

A writer friend drove in from Haslet and bought a poetry set - Thanks, Becky! She is so supportive.

I was surprised at lack of interest in my flash fiction. I truly thought folks would like the idea of super short stories. I had several people say, "I barely have enough time to read my Bible."  Well, I can't compete with that book.

All in all, it was a fun day and I enjoyed walking around to other artists' booths - stainglass, jewelry, oils, watercolors, puppets. There are a lot of talented people eager to share their work. I think the City of Bedford should be pleased, especially considering the weather.

I finished up the night at the Bedford Library - it was open mic poetry night. A small group of hardy souls shared their words (yes, I read - Blend and also Fall), and applauded our efforts.

My cold feet warmed and caught up with my heart. Yes, it's fun being an author.

San Saba Texas - Wine and Cows

 Spent Easter Weekend in San Saba, TX at Aunt Pat's ranch. Typical of small towns, the courthouse is in the center. I contribute movie reviews to her Little Paper of San Saba

 Trying to unload our stuff. The cows freaked me out as they edged closer and closer to the truck. I know they were hoping for food, but I'm just not keen on up close and personal greetings. There is a whole San Saba chapter in my humorous memoir - My Zoo World.

 It's not Napa Valley yet, but the Texas Hill Country is sprouting wineries almost as fast as cactus. We visited the Wedding Oak winery. The gate wasn't closed so I only got a photo of the "Ing" side. Pretty gate background, I'm sure, for weddings. We sat in the courtyard and enjoyed the blush wine.

Inside - casks of wine. On the wall was a plaque for the 300 member club. No names yet. If Ray does get on Pat's deer lease, maybe he'll join as the first member. But somehow wine and deer hunt sounds like an odd combo.

It was a fun Easter weekend and then as an added bonus, we had rain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Trust me, that is blessed news.   Now onward to April.

Just Kidding Around

 If you've read my book, My Zoo World, then you know I'm rather afraid of animals. So we visit son, Kevin and his wife Maria's ranch about an hour away. Three of the five dogs were ready to greet us.

 cousins, Makyla and Abby, ruled the road in the John Deere 4-wheeler.

 Yep, they have pigs, too.

 Yes, I chose to have a photo taken with the cutest kid. He could scamper like crazy and was adorable. No, I didn't accept kisses.

But baby goats turn into big goats - not so cute or pretty. It was quite a day in the country - mid-70s for January is unusual weather. Ray grilled burgers and we had a good family visit.  Oooh, maybe next time, there will be a pony ride.

Books 'N Authors and All That Jazz - 10th year

 Saturday April 28, 2012, I attended Books 'N Authors and All That Jazz, a conference at Weatherford College. It was their 10th Anniversary celebration and they put on a good show. I hung in the authors' wing, chatting with folks about my book - My Zoo World. Plenty of interest and enthusiasm

 My display included pictures of some of the critters cavorting through my chapters. Linda T's cat Benji was a star, as well as son Kevin's pit bull, Rusty. Certainly conversation starters.

 Other Trinity Writer attendees included Ann Summerville (A Graceful Death, High Tide, Storms & Secrets, and her latest The Berton Hotel), Sharon Owen (Thicker Than Water), and Arly Pineo (Cheat the Wind). Not pictured here are Sheryl Nelms (poet) and Kalvin Weaver (Kobra).  We hung out, made new connections, attended some classes (Dave Lieber is always a treat), and discussed the world of publishing in 2012 - ever changing, that's for sure.

The grand finale included some Jazz, thanks to the college jazz combo - very cool. Linda Bagwell, coordinator, also announced winners of various writing contests. Alas, I did not have to leap from my seat.
Nonetheless it was a worthwhile day in the world of writing and publishing....and all that jazzzzzzzzzz!

Thankful

Thanksgiving 2011

I'm very grateful for my family and friends. I'm excited that my book My Zoo World: If All Dogs Go to Heaven, Then I'm in Trouble is published. It's been a great year with poems and flash fictions chosen for various on-line journals.

I'm employed. My husband's employed. We have health insurance. Wow - that says a lot.

My father, at 80 (no, he doesn't admit to being a senior) is energetic and healthy. I'm SO grateful. My sister is doing great, as well as my brother and his family. All in all, I have so much to be thankful for.

Here's a humorous poem to celebrate Thanksgiving and enter the Christmas season:

Peace on earth

bow my head in church and pray
one eye on my teen brother, he texts his girl
other eye on Nate Holcomb, my enemy
I hate him, but it's Sunday so I can't, should
pray for his soul, for that pious face
to break out in zits, but that's not Christian
charity

close my eyes, soar above the congregation
imagine peace on earth, or at least my
sister's grubby fingers out of my stuff
sorry I pushed her, but she stole my glitter
shirt, claimed it was borrowed, but that
implies consent. Stomach growls
pray for last piece of pumpkin pie


sigh



and peace on earth

Book Launch

It's been a journey and an adventure both in life and publishing.
My Zoo World (If All Dogs Go to Heaven, Then I'm in Trouble) is available to buy, read, and chuckle as you turn pages.

As an animal fearing woman, Joanne Faries laughs at her acclimation to an animal loving world. She stares down swans in Sweden and a guinea pig in the washroom, but averts her eyes for the wombat in Australia.

My Zoo World is a humorous memoir of animal encounters with a twist. Among published animal tales, very few are skewed with a touch of fear and laughter on every page. Unlike books written by pet-loving authors, these chapters introduce the reader to a manic menagerie of animals: a snapping Shetland pony, a bowling ball playing pit bull, and a terrified turtle that tolerates distress. Meet Benji, the cat, Muff, the dog, and more. Friends are convinced they can overcome Joanne’s concerns with their precious pets. Join them and root for the animals as you read My Zoo World.

Enjoy!

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I wonder if Gutenberg had as much trouble with his press as I've had with my format issues for my book. Self publishing is an adventure, a challenge, and yes I do appreciate the big NY brickhouses more. However, I soldier on and (shameless plug here), I am on Amazon Kindle - My Zoo World is available for download. Print edition coming soon (fingers crossed).

Back to Gutenberg. An article caught my eye (Dallas Morning News 10/15/11 p. 14A) about Germans in Cologne who have set up free-for-all libraries. Street corners, city squares, and super markets - shelves are available and books are donated and shared. Very cool concept. No questions asked. Take a book, leave a book, read and enjoy.

The project is open and financed by donations. Volunteer groups care for the shelves. The branch manager of Cologne's Mayersche Buchhandlung book store, Elmar Muether, said, "If books are present everywhere, it helps our business, too.". It's promotion versus competition. If someone gets hooked on an author, he or she is more likely to seek out and buy other books.

Anything to promote reading has to be a positive for society as a whole. Das ist gut!