Friday, May 30, 2014

Movie Review Madness: What I Don't Plan to See

Movies I Won’t Be Seeing in the Theater 

Here are blurbs for current movies in the theater that this critic does not plan to see. These are totally biased, non-substantiated comments. Use a coin toss to decide if you shall wait for DVD or Netflix streaming 
I still need to review the new X-Men - big thumbs up. And I want to see Maleficent, Million Ways to Die in the West, Chef, and Railway Man.

The Amazing Spider Man – a co-worker, Jeremy, who is the target audience said, “Wait for DVD. It’s rather slow and boring.” Okay. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are likeable, but I feel as if they keep rehashing the same story over and over. Jeremy agreed. I’m sure if you are a Spidey fan, you could find some amusement. 

Brick Mansions – Poor Paul Walker. He died and now this is his last movie without the Fast and Furious gang. Apparently it’s a cop thriller in future Detroit. Guess the plot was lame according to most critics.  

Draft Day – this looks amusing and I could still see it. Kevin Costner is an NFL general manager going through a crazy draft. It actually has gotten B+ reviews.  

Heaven is for Real – based on a true story about a kid who died and basically came back to life. In doing so, he is able to report on people he saw in heaven. He was touched and now is a bit of an angel that brings comfort to folks.  I’ve heard this is good. Just not my cup of tea.  

Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return – apparently this animated movie is horrible. Do not take your kids. It’s a shame to ruin Oz.  

Mom’s Night Out – supposed to be hilarious. Not.  

Neighbors  - Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne are the “old” married couple with a baby. They are not happy when a frat house moves next door. Highlights include a lot of shirtless Zac Ephron. But that can only go so far. If you want classic frat – watch Animal House for real laughs.  

Noah – Russell Crowe is supposed to do a credible job of gathering creatures two by two and saving humanity. Of course there are complaints about the storytelling, but I heard the effects are great.  

The Other Woman – Cameron Diaz can be so funny. She needs better scripts. I guess she and Lesley Mann do a great job and are amusing until the young beauty shows up. Kate Upton – shut your mouth. You can’t act. Just be lovely.



  1. I haven't even heard of some of them. I don't want many films at the cinema anymore, because it's just so expensive. #1 son went to see Godzilla in 3D and it cost him £10.50! It has to be stand-out amazing, can't-possibly-not-see-this for us to even consider going out.

  2. The movie about heaven might be pretty good, and same for "Noah", but like Annalisa, we don't go to the movies very often. (Like once every couple decades or so...) But one I wouldn't mind seeing in the theater is "Mockingjay." I'm not even sure when it's coming out, but I read the "Hunger Games" trilogy earlier this month, and enjoyed it so much, I went out and bought the movies made from the first two books. Pretty doggone good! Now we're chomping at the bit for the last one.

    Happy weekend!